Here are two beautiful bed and breakfast’s that are perfect for families – as long as parents are willing to keep their eye on their offspring. I’ve always believed that part of the charm of a family vacation is to spend time with your family – not send your children off to hotel sponsored children’s program or plunk them in front of the television. If you feel the same way, these two stops are the perfect destination.

Hawaii’s Halaekilohana B & B

A view from Kalekilohana's front porch

Hawaii itself is a family friendly destination, and the Kalaekilohana Bed & Breakfast outside of remote Na’alehu, on the Big Island is a perfect example. Kind, welcoming, friendly hosts will feel more like friends than inn keepers by the time you leave, and the accommodations are stellar. We loved the massive outdoor lanai, or porch, perfect for conversation, a cool beverage, and star gazing. With a porch swing to rock the kids to sleep, first let the kids run out onto the vast, groomed lawn and watch the moon rise. Inside, the rooms are large, many with french doors and private lanais. Several family suites feature three queen size or king and queen beds each in a separate nook of the room. Smooth eucalyptus wood floors smell heavenly. This plantation style lemon yellow b & b offers craft classes such a lei making and basket weaving for older children and the entire family. There’s a true sense of the culture of the islands and a connection to it, and that warmth will be felt and welcome by kids of all ages, and their parents. Kalaekilohana is one of the only Hawaiian owned bed and breakfasts in the state of Hawaii.

The bed and breakfast itself – a welcoming Hawaiian plantation

Hawaiian music will play on the stereo while you breakfast on house made treats from pancakes to scones, local K’au coffee for adults, fresh squeezed juices, and island grown fruits like mango, papaya, and strawberries fill the table.

With a washer and dryer available for guests to use, you won’t have to worry about your family getting dusty on a pleasant hour-long hike to near by Green Sands beach. Centrally located between major Big Island attractions like Volcanoes National Park to the East and pristine snorkeling spots like Pu`uhonua `O Honaunau National Historic Park to the west, sightseeing as well as relaxing make this our number one favorite b & b.

For more information on this charming and family friendly B&B visit their website at: http://www.kau-hawaii.com or call (808) 939-8052.

Julian, California – The Observer’s Inn

Crisp winter days outside the Observer's Inn in Juilan - a little sledding with the star gazing

Well, maybe it’s a tie for number one, with our other favorite in Southern California -  The Observer’s Inn, a small B&B in a spotless guest house that shares this Julian, California property with a private observatory built and operated by astronomer Michael Leigh and his wife Caroline. We love that families can rent the entire guest house – two bedrooms, two baths, and a living room, all with star gazing art, books, and video.

The planetarium Michael built offers a private star-gazing tour through the clear night air, first with the aid of a laser pointer and then with the assistance of four observatory class telescopes. Stools are offered for the kids to get a solid view of Saturn’s rings, Orion, the Pleiades, the craters of the moon – whatever planets are “in season,” you’ll see them sparkling, no matter how many light years away. You and your children will learn about the star clusters and galaxies under your gaze; the smallest children will enjoy just looking at the sparkling stars, and settling back on the comfortable couches in the observatory with a staff-provided cookie as a treat.

A Julian Sunset - just wait til the stars come out

If the wonder of this special outlook into the universe wasn’t enough, in the morning, breakfast is served right in the guest house at an ample dining room table, along with friendly conversation by your hosts. With a strong emphasis on fresh baked local pastries and lovely fruit and teas, after the family-style repast, you can stroll the relaxing grounds, or head into the quaint town of Julian to take a horse and carriage ride. Not far away is the famous Palomar Observatory, open for tours and a look at a telescope even more impressive than those at the Observer’s Inn.

For more information on this charming and family friendly B&B visit their website at: http://www.observersinn.com or call (760)765-0088.

Two Grand Runner-ups

One runner up favorite bed and breakfasts in our family include the charming lighthouse keeper’s home on the windswept Oregon Coast, Heceta Head Lighthouse, where family board games and a fire place keep you company, and guests can share a kitchen for evening dining, or stroll a pleasant, gently  winding path to the lighthouse itself. Nearby: enormous sand dunes in the small town of Florence are made for coasting, rolling, climbing, and picture taking. For more info on the Heceta Head Lighthouse B&B visit their website at: http://hecetalighthouse.com/bed-breakfast

Another favorite B&B is the sparkling Trinidad Inn in northern California, whose peaceful luxury belies the rugged coast on which it is perched. Below the inn, tide pools beckon. Nearby, mighty redwoods tower.

Once you get started on bed and breakfast stays, you’ll want to discover your own special place  – away from the corporate owned and impersonal accommodations you may have thought were your family’s due.

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We loved talking with our hosts and other guests in this Mississippi b&b.

In recent years, it’s become increasingly important to us to have access to a kitchen, at least for part of our stay on extended trips. We like the cost savings involved in preparing our own breakfasts before hitting the road or exploring the sights; we like the convenience of packing a lunch instead of searching out food when we could be enjoying new attractions. Our family also has some special diet needs – with family members who require low sodium foods and others who request vegan and vegetarian dishes, it makes meal time simpler to have your own kitchen at your disposal when necessary. While renting a house, condo, or apartment with a kitchen is often more expensive than opting for a hotel or motel room, dining out is usually a family’s biggest expense.

We’ve crunched the numbers from Tennessee to San Francisco, and having a kitchen is almost always a savings in the end. The other advantage to renting a residence: space. Sometimes it’s just nice to spread out, and sometimes privacy, particularly as your children grow, is deeply important to keeping the peace on family outings. With small children, having room for play time after a long day’s drive is equally important. Another plus: you’re paying one price for a rental residence, not a per person lodging charge. If you’re considering sharing a vacation with another family, or bringing your child’s best friend along, this is the way to go. Lastly, small children can sleep undisturbed and early in a house or condo with a separate bedroom from their parents – and parents can unwind beside a welcoming fire place or watch a movie on the DVD or Blue Ray. Where to find home and condo rentals? We like Vacation Rentals by Owner (VRBO) because the properties listed are usually consistent; we’ve yet to stay at a property listed on this site that didn’t at least look like its photos. And the rentals are guaranteed to be legitimate. Craig’s List often offers better bargains, but be sure to avoid rentals that sound just too good to be true and sometimes are. That said, we found an amazing condo in Honolulu off of Craig’s List – it pays though, to ask questions. Flip Key and Home Away properties often skew high end, so it depends on your family budget as to whether you’ll find these sites have what your family needs.

We’ve also enjoyed our share of Bed and Breakfast properties. If you chose the right b & b, this can be an incredibly rewarding experience. Conversation with the owners and other guests, a lovely breakfast already prepared for you, and often access to a living space and grounds outside your room. We’ve stayed in large rooms with great food and friendly hosts, in properties that welcome families all across the U.S. Many of our hosts have become more like extended family, and we visit them regularly. But there is a caveat – some properties are less than welcome for small children. Be sure to check with them and let them know the ages of your children, and ask about the layout of the property. Just because they offer a crib for your room, it doesn’t mean that the walls are sound proof if the baby cries in the night. Some b & b’s also will insist that you sign a form that means you’ll be responsible for any damaged furnishings, showing that these properties may say children are welcome, but in reality may be less embracing when the kids play a game of hide and seek in the hallway. Advance communication is key when selecting a bed and breakfast. We never book a B & B without talking to the hosts first.

With hotels and motels, you’ll want to look at safety features, food options, and bedding. We’ve often found mid-range chain motels to be best suited to our family’s requirements for just these reasons. Even if it’s available to you at an on-line bargain rate, the most luxurious hotel in the world – with a private sitting area and ocean front view-  will not be the best choice if the room has only one king bed and nowhere to store baby food.

A two bedroom condo with kitchen in Nashville was a bargain with a city sky line view and art on the walls.

Making sure a room has a refrigerator or microwave may be essential. Making sure that a room does not have an unsecured balcony may also be vitally important if your children are small. And, if including breakfast in your room rate is something you value, make sure the breakfast being offered is worth having. Too many chain motel breakfast buffets end up being mostly frozen bagels and waxy apples. Another accommodation choice and a morning run to the local bakery or cafe may be a better way to go.

No matter what accommodation type you select, the essential points to remember for your family are comfort and convenience – which may be different than any other families. We’ve had our share of over and under compensating on both points, so it’s always important to strike a balance, and decide what fulfils your personal comfort and convenience needs. Is it really necessary to stay inside the boundaries of a national park, when a motel outside those boundaries offers a better rate and more room? That depends – do you want to walk out your door and into nature, or is a twenty minute drive perfectly acceptable to your brood? Are you booking a vacation that will find you spending a lot of time in the room? Then the layout and luxuries of a quality hotel will be more important than its location. On the other hand, if you’ll be spending most of your time exploring an area, taking a cruise, or simply need a bed for the night on the way to your next destination, then location will trump the room. Discuss and agree upon your family’s usual travel needs, and stick with them. Base your accommodation options on your personal must-have’s, and – happy kid-cation.